He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need to calm my uterus...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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