He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
