They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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