it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
