You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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