Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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