Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
