if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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