I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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