The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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