you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
