WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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