Kiss
Puke
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
