Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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