I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
