She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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