I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
