why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize