They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize