bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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