dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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