So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
