This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize