He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
