You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
