Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
