You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
