This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
