It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
