my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize