P.S. I can't hear my feet
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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