I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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