My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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