Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
