You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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