So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize