woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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