You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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