She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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