Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
