I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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