I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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