omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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