You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
