Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
