Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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