Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
