oh god the rape fog is back!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
