i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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