you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
