Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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