btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
