I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
