I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
