So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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