wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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