Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
