Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
