Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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