please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
