Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
