she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
