Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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