College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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