I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
