I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we're so committed to being not committed
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
