i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
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I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
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Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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