dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Sorry my hands just texted you
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
