U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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