Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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