S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
